‘Tis the Season to be Thankful…?

It’s Thanksgiving! The day we should be completely thankful for our family, our health, our friends and the commodities in which we take for granted.

But of course many rushed to stuff their faces with inconceivable amounts of food and sent their guests on their way so they can speed to the mall by 9 p.m. to start their Black Friday shopping…

So, really, why am I writing this if everyone and their mothers are rushing to the mall to buy “heartfelt” Christmas gifts and ripping out the hair of the person in front of them because how dare they grab the last of whatever thing it was you really wanted to get?

The Chicago family.

Because I’m in the comfort of my own home, my extended family just left, and I’m thinking about how others might spend their Thanksgiving and Black Friday.

Plus I have a bone to pick.

All right. So, in less than an hour, Black Friday officially starts–granted, it apparently started a few hours ago. But if you’re like me, and you would rather not stand in long lines, listen to kids crying at 3 a.m. at the mall (or just not be at the mall in the middle of the night) and like convenience, you’re probably going to just order your gifts or merchandise online.

Ah, the convenience of online shopping.

But, yet, it’s not. In a sense.

When I buy things online, or even in stores, I’d like to read the review of the product, especially if it’s some type of machinery or has an on/off switch. For instance, I’m looking to buy a travel blow dryer. Something small, lightweight, maybe it folds in half, but if not it’s finee. However, I’m also interested in it having a diffuser. That’s the tricky part. I have thick, curly hair–twice or even three times the size of your average female’s ponytail. No diffuser means extra frizz and I’ll look like I stood inside a heated tunnel. It took me years to figure out how to groom my hair, I’m not going to set myself back 10 years.

Do you know how hard it is to get a decent review?

“I love  this blow dryer! A little thing like this holds so much power, I use it more than my regular blow dryer!” or “This is crap. It stopped working after two days. NEVER BUYING THIS BRAND AGAIN.”

Okay, great. Did it stop working after two days because you were trying to perfect your lassoing skills in a densely wooded area? I need details.

When I read product reviews this is the information I want to know:
1. Tell me about you and what you need this product for.
[I have thick, curly hair. I need it with a diffuser to not completely dry out my curls, but I need this blow dryer to be a travel size because I can’t  lug a huge blow dryer around during my travels, be it abroad or just a few hours away.]
2. You own this product, you’ve had it for at least two weeks, tell me how you are using it and if it is doing what you expected.
[If you have this awesome mini/travel blow dryer (or any product), are you using it to blow dry your hair or are you using it like Spider Man’s web shooter to harm your enemies? And, if you wanted it for either purpose, is it effective? If not, again, describe how you’re using it and how it is not doing what you expected.]
3. Any other useful bits of information.
Not: “I loooveee the color!” or “Too cute! I bought three hundred more!” This leads to comments and questions like, “Color isn’t as important as functionality” or “Why three hundred?” Which then leads to… “No, I really don’t care about your weirdness.”

Seriously, people. Nothing is more frustrating when online shopping (other than seeing “Sold Out!”) than reading reviews that say, “Yay! Totally awesome! I love it! It works so great and does everything I imaged! Such a relief!” or “This is a piece of crap. I can’t believe I wasted my money on this. Returning it asap!” I’m happy or sorry for you depending on what your review says, but that doesn’t convince me to buy the product, which can be a huge hindrance on my decision making and desire to buy.

I guess that’s why they call them reviews.

This year, let’s be thankful individuals like that don’t write online product descriptions for manufacturers, vendors or retailers.

Do you feel the same way when shopping online or reading reviews? What questions would you like answered when reading reviews? Anything particular you’re looking for on Black Friday, Cyber Monday or during the holiday season?

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